Dream Journal 10/5/22

 *Not 100% on the date but close

Didn't remember much of this one but writing to keep practicing.

Also had a learning / school theme but it wasn't set in a school. It was a rural areal with 2 small houses and one larger 'place' up the dirt road. Looking back now, I think there was / is a place like that in Georgia.

At some point I was driving a pickup but not sitting right. That happens a lot in dreams. I couldn't totally control the truck and I was trying to stop it. But there was also large black 'missing' spots in my left vision.

A white car tried to go around me really fast and he swerved and ran off the road into a small pond. I tried to turn toward him to help. Then he was standing by the river watching his car sink and yelling at me for not helping. Then I didn't care about helping anymore.

I finally made it back to one of the smaller houses. Adam and Joshua were there and trying to teach/show me something. The whole place was full of books. I can't remember what they were showing me or what was so important. 

Dream Journal 10/2

 *Not totally sure this is the date. Need to check.

This is the weird school of dead people dream that made me want to stop looking into metaphysical stuff.

I was the new kid in high school and I could tell I didn't really fit in, but it also wasn't a big deal. I didn't feel like they were going to be mean about it. It was also a bunch of kids my age, but also somehow I knew a few of them were not kids for real.

I quickly found out there was a class they all had that I didn't have. It was called Ascension. I wasn't allowed to take the class or go in the room. I never saw the teacher but I also somehow had a mental image of him. The tall creepy white guy from American Horror Story (specifically the Hotel version).

He was having them do all these crazy potions and spells to help them Ascend. I knew in my heart he was a snake oil salesman / teacher. What he was teaching them would never work. But I also knew I didn't have the knowledge of how to help them. 

It was around that time that I probably started waking up because I could tell that they were dead now. All of them. Even my teachers (but not the Ascension guy). I wasn't scared but I did think at that moment that I wanted to go home. And just then the bell rang.

I went out to the bus line and couldn't find my bus (a very common dream for me). But finally I did see a little boy I recognized so I got on that bus. Strangely, he wasn't a student. He came with the bus, but I was OK with that. I recognized him. He was about 5 with really dark hair, but no other features I can recall. Not really some one I recognize now.

When I got on, though, I started feeling like it wasn't the right bus. So I asked if she went to my street (301) and she said no she didn't go over that way. I tried to get off but the bus was already rolling. And the bus driver kept saying "I got you," and telling me not to worry. She would get me home.

So I calmed down and sat beside this boy that I somehow knew and loved, even though I was supposedly a new student. I couldn't see his face or I can't recall it now, but we loved each other so much. We sat there holding hands. He also had a white cat in his lap.

Dream Journal 10/10/22

 A couple different parts.

First part took place at the river. People I knew and people I didn't. I got this turtle sticker for my car with a QR code. It was for a dating site. Whoever scanned it got to check you out and try to hook up. There was another sticker, forgetting the shape now, but it did basically the same thing. 

Part two had to do with someone losing custody of their baby and fighting hard to get her back. I helped them. It took place at their house a bit and back at the river where things were decided. At first the judge didn't go in her favor but me and a couple people really fought for her and she won.

But as revenge, Lavana (for whatever reason) told Matt about what the turtles really meant. He brought it up and I played it off like I didn't know that was it. I thought it was just a cool turtle and he loved turtles. So I peeled it off and 'saw' the QR code and crumpled it up and threw it in the river. I tried to say something else but he just said "Let's forget it," and stared out over the water.

Next part was this 'gym' but it was set up with a room of sex pods. Standing small rounded rectangles. You either pay for a session (very expensive) or a monthly membership. It was also connected to the turtle sticker. But you could pick which speed. And you just hop in with your partner and the pod does most of the work. Looked really fun!

Final part was at a library (YAY) and I was researching powers. It also had something to do with history, my history. And I found this old log that referenced another file in the library, so I went to find it. All the references were about a girl in the movie IT and that my powers matched hers. Doesn't make sense now because she didn't have her own powers, but it felt like validation. Like the movie was the best way the library could come up with to explain it. And the movie was on some old thing like a cross between a VHS and an Ipad.

How can I use my intuition in this life?

 Magician (1) (R)

Me: Learn, try but be mindful, accept help, 1 = New adventure so not accepting adventure?

Book: Mental illness, disquiet, poor planning, wanting to explore but not taking action yet, take care of what you intend to manifest & the universe will do the rest, don't lose sight of intuition (stop fighting yourself) many skills & talents but not using them

Past Life 7 Card (Personal) Spread

 1. Me

Lovers (6)
Me: Had love in my life. Long & strong partnership. I was loving
Book: Attraction, beauty, trials overcome

2. Theme

6 of Pentacles
Me: Giving, shared wealth, health, helped others
Book: Generosity, balance, status (was I obsessed?)

3. Obstacle

3 of Swords (R)
Me: Betrayal (by the one I loved?) Maybe I betrayed them. Couldn't over come a betrayal?
Book: Heartbreak, grief, mitigated, probably dealt with it fine, also could be regarding self-talk

4. Lesson

2 of Pentacles (R)
Me: Imbalance. Was I a workaholic then too?
Book: Disorganized, over committed, priorities!

5. Death

Knight of Pentacles
Me: Charging forth, usually a good card? Died doing what I loved? Overworked?
Book: Self discipline, feeling stuck, perfectionism

6. After Life

Star (8)
Me: I know book says thievery but I see it as sharing, giving back, prosperity. So many stars - place to go?
Book: Dual meaning (loss/theft) or (hope)

7. Influence this Life

7 of Cups (R)
Me: Not trusting, holding back gifts, not letting go and reaping full potential & benefits
Book: Impulse control in emotions, personal values, overwhelm, trust intuition more. What's important?

10/7 Daily One Card Pull

 Justice

Do what's right. Be right. Fair

10/6 Daily One Card Pull

 Queen of Cups (R)

Interesting. She's usually rightside up. Am I not paying enough attention? Not emotionally balanced? I said I DIDN'T want to think about him lol.

* 2nd card tried to fall out

9 of Cups (R)

Geez OK with the cups! Not being appreciative of personal fulfillment

10/5 Daily One Card Pull

 Ace of Pentacles (R)

Since I'm struggling with the dream and I got the Ace of Pentacles in the Dream spread, I take this to mean I'm struggling to trust that tis is the rigth path.

10/4 Daily One Card Pull

 Queen of Cups

Me: At one with her emotions, large ornate beautiful cup. Cherubs on large throne, water all around, beautiful rocks, on shore, cape blends into rocks seamlessly

Book: Caring, compassion, intuitive, trustworthy

9/30 Daily One Card Pull

 3 of Wands (R)

Me: Creativity, planted but not ready
Book: Makes sense. Stuck on book, not enough $, don't want to start yet, still procrastinating by organizing

He Who Shall Not be Named

 3 Card Past Present Future Spread

PAST

7 of Cups
Me: So much potential, abundance, hard work but worth it, Felt like I had it all
Book: Wishful thinking! Warning re: instant gratification

PRESENT

Page of Cups (R)
Me: No love to give. Not doing that again
Book: Stop being curious. Get your head out of the past

FUTURE

Wheel of Fortune (10)
Me: Luck, happiness if I choose, make my own luck, so does he
Book: Destiny, fortune, success, luck

Past Life

 6 Card Past Life Spread

1. What kind of person was I in my past life?

6 of Wands
Me: Water, tribulation, worry, creative, hardship
Book: Success, recognition, praise

2. What did I do or accomplish?

Knight of Cups
Me: Chivalry, in motion, helped people
Book: In tune w/emotions, listened to heart over logic, caring, charming

3. What challenges/obstacles did I face?

Temperance (R)
Me: Duh, same as now, no patience!
Book: Imbalance, excess, need self healing, warning to realign

4. How did I die?

6 of Pentacles
Me: Giving alms, helping, sharing
Book: Status, equilibrium, generosity, gave time and wisdom

5. What lessons did I learn?

5 of Cups (R)
Me: Sad, knocked over
Book: Disappointment, regret, move on, Learn lesson, Can't change past. Learn from it

6. Who did my life impact? 

Fool (0) (R)
0=unlimited potential
Me: risky, less fortunate
Book: Folly, mania, apathy, vanity, negligence

Study Wicca?

Should I study Wicca?

SELF

Strength (8) (reversed): Abuse of power, weakness

SITUATION

Justice (11): Equity, rightness, executive

CHALLENGE

Lovers (6): Beauty, love, overcome

*All major arcana

Guidance on Intuition

 3 Card Situation Spread

SELF

Queen of Cups: caring, sensitive, psychic ability, empath, daydreamer, healer, listener, counselor

SITUATION

2 of Cups (reversed): Disconnect, off balance

CHALLENGE

2 of Swords (reversed): Guarded, stressed, overloaded, Don't just read everything --> Do!

K: Guidance on Issue with Michael

 3 Card Spread 

SELF

Ace of Wands (reversed): Not trusting gut or other person, scared to go on new journey

SITUATION

2 of Swords: Conflict w/no clear resolution, challenging decision

CHALLENGE

Knight of Swords: Fast thinking, ambitious, decisive action w/o prior planning

Ancestral Spread

 7 card spread

1. Me Today

10 of Pentacles (reversed): Rocky, unstable, insecure

2. Bridge I'll cross to meet ancestors

6 of Swords (reversed): Transition, rite of passage

3. What they think of me

5 of Swords: Conflict, disagreement, fallout from winning battle

4. What I think of them

7 of Pentacles: Loss, theft, abandonment

5. Goal of my journey

5 of Cups (reversed): Recent personal setback or disappointment

6. Unexpected

3 of Pentacles (reversed): Lack of harmony

7. How will this affect my life now?

Queen of Cups (reversed): Overly sensitive, holding onto insecurities, ignoring intuition